Everything will be ok.
I'm not just saying that. It really will be. Everything will be ok for your kids if you're ok. Truly! That's why I'm focusing this newsletter on tips and resources to help you be ok. 🤗
The tips below are gathered from recent conferences I've attended on supporting children and families during the pandemic such as the Superpowered Summit and the Parent and Caregiver Masterclass on Stress Management.
1. Do what you need to do to make sure that you’re ok before taking care everyone else. No guilt. Period.
Tips from Kate Northrup - Author of "Do Less"
2. Make a list of everything that needs to be done for the week by both partners and make sure that it's manageable and equitable. Having clarity ahead of time will help to reduce feelings of resentment or overwhelm.
3. Invest in Couples Therapy - having a third person to help work through conflicts or old patterns of communication could be really helpful, especially during this time. I can definitely attest to the benefits of couples therapy and would be happy to recommend mine if you're interested.
4. Honour the season we're in - the more we embrace instead of always thinking about going back to what was, the more gifts we'll get as parents and as people. Children will model what we do and how we think.
Tips from Dr. Gabor Mate - Author of "Hold on to Your Kids" and many other books on stress management
5. Learn to hold your own pain - it took me awhile to fully understand this during his talk and I know it goes a lot deeper too but it is basically the ability to allow yourself to experience emotional and physical pain without jumping to finding a solution right away. For example, being able to experience sadness without turning to a numbing solution right away. Being able to hold our own pain will help us hold our children's pain and teach them to experience unpleasant emotions without turning to outside sources of comfort right away. An example he gave is when your child is crying about a broken toy, instead of running over to fix it or tell them that it's ok that it's broken, let them know that you know they're sad and the sadness will pass. It's ok to cry it out.
6. See it as a gift of time instead of an inconvenience - Use this Covid period to really get to know your child. It could be a really transformative crisis. As the Chinese character for crisis shows, it's both a danger and an opportunity.
7. Slow Down and Ask the Right Question - when your child is misbehaving or not cooperating and you're about to reprimand them ask this important question "what is happening in my child's mind at this very moment?" This is a question that will completely transform the way you relate to your child. I tried this just last night with my daughter and it was magical. It's the empathic listening part of Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood.
8. Understand Your Shame - As parents, we're often triggered by our children the most because of our own upbringing and childhood experiences. We yell at our children to behave so we don't feel the same shame we felt from childhood. We need to let that shame go so we can react in a more balanced way to our children. Alternatively, we can choose to just bury and live the shame that we have been carrying and pass it on to our children as well.
It's a lot to juggle as parents. If you'd like some help teaching your daughter(s) tools to manage their own emotions and building positive habits, we can help! Here's what parents have said about Girl. Strong.:
1 More Week to Register! Deadline is Sept. 18th.
Please note the following important dates:
Programs will start on October 1st. Please check out our program schedule in the link below for detailed dates/times.
Registration deadline for "Habit 1: Be Proactive" is Sept. 18th due to mailing delays. If you're registering from outside of Canada, please allow at least an extra week for shipping (Sep. 12 or earlier).
Deadlines for subsequent habits will be at least two weeks prior to the start dates of each habits.
Have a wonderful evening and hope to see your daughter(s) in our virtual program!! 🤩
Best wishes,
Yollanda Zhang
Founder/Director
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